Turning mind mush into inspiration

Sometimes I get really bored and out of it.  This agitated energy often leads to mindless poking at the internet.  This habit has never proven successful, although I have definitely logged more hours of research than I care to count on various important milestones such as buying a new lamp or making dinner.  Compiled with a tendency to stare at the other big bright screen in the room, I can really get lost for hours.

Then I have “aha” moments like I did this morning.  When I am demanding a level of fulfillment that the internet will not provide, but I am also too lazy to get off the couch, I should write in my blog!  This feeling comes frequently enough that it should ensure some fairly regular posting.  Unlike Facebook, my blog inspires me.  I don’t mean inspired in a “omg I just found a way to make homemade dishwasher detergent on Pintrest” kind of way, but actually inspired to stay more mindful to find inspiration in my own life.  It’s only then that I will really have something to write about.

Speaking of inspiration, there is a dancer in my belly.  At first the kicks were so surprising that I just felt like I was getting beaten by a tiny little angry bug.  Now the movements are more linked together, especially during my acupuncture appointment today.  My intention has been to connect better with this little being in my belly, but I’ve been having a hard time connecting in general recently.  Rather than beat up on myself for already being a distant mother (the book that I’m reading told me that will damage the child for sure), I have been trying to be open to find the kind of connection that my little bean wants to share with me.

At the moment, our connection is nonverbal.  But the joyous, playful energy that I received today was definitely a deeper connection than I originally had in mind.  I don’t think I take the time to bask in this type of energy from any of my loved ones.  Thanks to the little teacher inside, I am now inspired to become more sensitive to this wavelength.  I think I am going to go bask in it now while I do some laundry.


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