Our Montessori Life at Six Months

The last three months have added smiles, giggles, and a budding love of reading, among so many other joys, to the infinite well of love I feel for my son.  In a flurry of developmental activity, he has eaten his first solid food (egg yolk), learned to wield a spoon with amazing accuracy, found his way onto his hands and knees, and is so close to sitting up on his own!  Amidst the intensely positive moments, we have also been moving into a challenging period after a super easy six months.  Instead of contentedly wiggling around in (mostly) one place on the floor, little man is now rolling everywhere and wanting lots of stimulation.  So work schedules have shifted, activities have been added, and things are just getting interesting.

With the “baby schedule” fully integrated into our lives for awhile now, we were clearly due for a bit of upheaval.  No longer simply content to watch life happen before his eyes, Miles was showing us his readiness for new, more interactive activities.  Reading, singing, playing, and wielding all manner of objects is all part of the daily routine.

Of course, life is a bit more exciting with some variation.  Tuesdays are library day, Wednesdays I work in the evenings and get to just be Mama during the day.  Our weekends have a nice balance of relaxation and fun with a healthy dose of outdoor time thrown in for good measure.  After writing down our priorities and making sure we work them in regularly, my husband and I are both happier – and life is grand!

On a normal day…

5:00 am – Now Mama and Daddy both wake up together…most days.  Sometimes I need an extra half hour (or two).  Miles is starting to sleep later in the mornings, sometimes until 7:30!

6:15 am – Family breakfast.  When he is able to support himself, Miles will join us in his high chair.  For now, he either sits on one of our laps (and does his best to nom whatever he can) or plays on the floor.  We take a moment to go over the schedule for the day while we enjoy a delicious homemade breakfast courtesy of, well, not me.  Let’s just say that I am lucky to be married to my favorite short order cook.

7:00 am – After Daddy leaves for work, Mama and Miles roll out their yoga mats (his is a quilt, for now).  Mama reads aloud from her yoga book while Miles looks through a board book (Inch by Inch is the current favorite), then we wiggle around for awhile to wake up our muscles and find some balance to start the day.  One day a week, Miles wiggles while Mama chants a bit and then blogs.  This space needs nurturing too!

8:00 am – Time for work!  I have to to put my nose to the grindstone most days, but one day per week is set aside for Mama and Miles.  Either way, we get started with work or play.

11:00 am – When Miles starts to rub his eyes, we head into his room for a morning nap.  Sometimes he goes down early and sleeps for hours, sometimes he doesn’t want to sleep at all.  Whenever he settles down for some sleep, lunch is also a priority for Mama.  It is so easier to eat without an adventurous eater trying to get at my tasty (but baby unfriendly) midday meal.

12:30 pm – We try to go for a walk.  The winter weather here is not nearly as harsh as other places I’ve lived, but sometimes we can only get out for ten minutes or so before his cheeks get too cold.  Still, it is so important to get outside every day.  Now I am extra excited for the slightly warmer weather that is around the corner.  After our walk, it’s back to work!

3:30 pm – Daddy gets home!  We all gather on the couch to snuggle and talk about our day.  Miles usually gets a little wriggly, so it’s more tummy time while Mama and Daddy unwind.

4:30 pm – Dinner time at the weaning table.  We are using meals as a way to practice proper sequence – for all of us.  Put on the bib, push in the chair, spread out the placemat.  From his first bite, Miles has been insistent on feeding himself.  Although an extra hand tends to follow the spoon into his mouth, he has the grip and the aim down pat!

5:00 pm – Time to get Miles ready for bed.  After a nice warm bath and some cozy jums, we settle in on the couch for a story together.  Most nights he wants to nurse to sleep, but he is also getting pretty good at falling asleep on his own.  The only constant requirement is a short reading from the Book of Children’s Verse.

From about 5:30 pm to 10, we adults scurry get everything done that we used to have all day to do… like blogging!  And sewing! And, every once in awhile, resting.  Oh yeah, and dishes.  My kingdom for a dishwasher.

The predictable schedule is essential for us, especially so I can adequately juggle working and motherhood.

Do you keep a set schedule every day, or do you make it up as you go?

Mama’s Library for Pregnancy – Before, During, and After

Like most any other major (or minor) event in life, I prepared for motherhood by reading everything I could on the subject.  From the mainstream to the “woo-woo,” I am now the proud owner of a stack of books that will most likely collect dust until my next pregnancy.  Ironically, my attention has been so tied up since the baby was born that I rarely crack any of the volumes I thought for sure would be essential.  So it is definitely not essential that you buy all of these books.  Maybe one (or two) from each category would do

I was fortunate to have found something useful in each book I read, though some resonated with me more than others.  Even so, I’ve included my entire reading list in the likely event that someone with a slightly different opinion might find something worthwhile.

It being the digital age, I’ve also mentioned some of my favorite digital pregnancy and parenting resources here as well.  A full list of the blogs and other helpful sites is too big to include – I will leave that for another day.

Preconception:

Taking Charge of Your Fertility, 10th Anniversary Edition: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health by Toni Weschler, MPH

It is so empowering to understand the hormonal cycle of the female body.  Though the Fertility Awareness Method is dependent on several factors to be effective, it worked very well for us when it came to pregnancy achievement with PCOS.  I’m glad to have this book on hand postpartum too, since it includes tips on what to expect while breastfeeding and beyond.

What to Expect Before You’re Expecting by Heidi Murkoff

Yes, I bought this book.  It was actually my first purchase right after my husband and I decided to start “trying.”  The purchase felt like a rite of passage, though I didn’t have high hopes for it.  After reading it from cover to cover, I found myself pretty put off by the silly tone of the language – it felt like it was written for a teenager, which hopefully it wasn’t.  That being said, it does contain some basic information that you should know before you conceive.  A lot of it, in my opinion, could be much better learned from TCOYF (pictured above).

FemCal iPhone App

The thought of tracking my cycle without an iPhone app is a bit scary to me.  After trying many others, this app won out because of the flexibility of features and the details you can record.  It is worth the $3.99 for the full version, something I rarely say about an app.  Now that I’ve switched to an Android phone, I’m having a hard time finding an app I like as much.  Suggestions are appreciated!

Pregnancy:

Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives by Deepak Chopra, M.D., David Simon, M.D., and Vicki Abrams, C.C.E., I.B.C.L.C

I was so excited by the idea of this book, but in the end it didn’t work for me.  The information in the beginning about what your baby could sense in the womb was terrific and helped me bond better with the idea of the baby before I could feel him wiggling around in there.  After that, I started to feel lured in by the all-too-common trap of perfection or failure hawked by so many holistic preachers.  I think it was the ever growing list of “must dos” at the end of every chapter that finally made me put down the book.  This was also the first of many books that alienated my husband with insultingly simple (“Don’t tell your wife she’s fat,”) information.

The Secret Life of the Unborn Child: How You Can Prepare Your Baby for a Happy, Healthy Life by Thomas Verny, M.D.

Disclaimer: This book was released  in 1982, so the research it’s based on is out of date.  This was another in a stack of gifted secondhand books, so I gave it a glance while I was on the couch one day.  I didn’t make it very far in, but it seems like a pretty interesting starting point if you want to know some of the science behind perception in the womb.

Childbirth:

Birthing from Within: An Extra-Ordinary Guide to Childbirth Preparation by Pam England CNM, MA & Rob Horowitz, Ph.D.

This was my favorite childbirth preparation book because the message was mostly – “You can do it.”  Unlike Hypnobirthing, the philosophy here is that birth was going to hurt – and that I would be woman enough to handle it.  The availability of positive birth stories here is really nice as an alternative perspective to the medicalized and fear based experiences that so many family members (and complete strangers) seem to share in abundance with mamas to be.  I wasn’t into the art therapy aspect, but that’s just me.  My husband also found  that this book actually had helpful information for dads without assuming they were clueless or uninterested.

Hypnobirthing: The breakthrough natural approach to safer, easier, more comfortable birthing – The Mongan Method, 3rd Edition by Marie Mongan

This was one of the first actual childbirth books I picked up, and I only did so because it was given to me by a friend.  I wasn’t looking for a birthing technique (and in the end didn’t have time for one), but this book contained such wonderfully empowering language that my whole perspective on childbirth shifted.  Instead of preparing pain management techniques, my focus became opening to the experience and letting go.

Postpartum and Baby Care:

After the Baby’s Birth: A Complete Guide for Postpartum Women by Robin Lim (Available via abebooks.com – the book is out of print, but some editions can be purchased for as low as $20.  )

My naturopath/midwife recommended this book to me as I was lamenting the lack of books specifically geared towards the postpartum experience.  By this point (as you see), I had digested plenty on the subject of pregnancy and birth, but I was still a bit clueless when it came to the whole having a baby thing.  Little did I know, instinct is a powerful thing – but before birth it helped immensely to have this resource to pour through.  The powerful message to allow sufficient time after birth to bond and recover with your baby hit home for me.  I think I might have pushed myself were it not for the beautiful picture Lim paints of the postpartum bed.  After living that marvelous dream, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by Diane Wiessinger, Diana West, and Teresa Pittman

During the home visit right before Miles made his grand entrance, my chiropractor asked me if I had read any books about breastfeeding.  I felt that I had, since my childbirth books all gave a mention to the rooting instinct that I assumed would instantly and perfectly happen.  She gently recommended this book to me, and I’m so glad she did.  Because Miles did not latch on perfectly right away.  Or even within the first 24 hours of life.  Thanks to the guidance of this book (and the knowledge that a La Leche League leader was just a phone call away), we made it through to a wonderful feeding relationship.  If you have a question and aren’t physically present in an LLL meeting, this is the next best thing.

Momma Zen: Walking the Crooked Path of Motherhood by Karen Maezen Miller

This book totally changed my life, and I can’t wait to read it over and over.  Truthfully, I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to find the selflessness needed to be a good mother.  This book put the path of motherhood into perspective – it is a practice in being the most selfless and wonderful human being you can possibly be.  When I started to view the path ahead of me in this way, the future started to look a lot brighter.  I highly recommend this book.

Montessori from the Start: The Child at Home, from Birth to Age Three by Paula Polk Lillard and Lynn Lillard Jessen

This is one of the only Montessori resources in print that covers the Montessori philosophy from birth, and is certainly the most in depth on the subject.  The authors share the tools to prepare an ideal Montessori environment from the start in a clear and manageable way.  Although most of my research was on the internet (see: my list of resources), this book really helped piece it all together (and helped populate the baby registry!).  So far, I think we are doing really well with our “curriculum,” thanks in large part to this resource.

Montessori Today: A Comprehensive Approach to Education from Birth to Adulthood by Paula Polk Lillard

OK, this goes a bit beyond “Postpartum and Baby Care,” but I said I was a planner, didn’t I?  The first Montessori book I purchased, this resource lays out the blueprint of Montessori learning from birth to high school and beyond.  Once I started it, I couldn’t put it down – Lillard is an engaging writer who grounds her information in concrete examples throughout her writing.  If you are considering Montessori, start here!

The Nourishing Traditions Book of Baby & Child Care by Sally Fallon Morell and Thomas S. Cowen

I can’t wait for this book to come out!  Though the nutritional philosophy of the Weston A. Price Foundation is controversial in some circles, I know I would not have found wellness (and thus gotten pregnant) without following this way of eating.  Almost two years after first reading Nourishing Traditions, I have a beautiful, healthy, family that visits our local dairy farm more than the grocery store and always has something fermenting in the fridge.  I can’t wait to read this that is volume specifically geared towards babies and kids!

Before, During, and After (Complete Guides):

Mothering Magazine’s Having a Baby, Naturally: The Mothering Magazine Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth by Peggy O’Mara

This was the favorite overall for both my husband and I.  We loved the depth of information that was presented clearly – both “natural” and “conventional” treatments were covered with the level of detail and expertise that I have come to expect from Mothering magazine through their website, another wonderful resource.  He especially liked the section for dads, one of the only of its kind that presents useful information for the father who wants to be informed and involved from the start.  If I had to pick only one book to keep, it would be this one.

Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn (4th Edition): The Complete Guide by Penny Simkin, P.T., Janet Whalley, R.N., B.S.N., and Ann Keppler, R.N., M.N.

Of course Penny Simkin’s book is amazing!  I liked this book for its tables detailing the stages of pregnancy and labor, and the scientific yet heart centered view of the entire path towards motherhood.  Although this book echoed a lot of what Having a Baby, Naturally had to say, there was some extra helpful information from a midwife’s perspective that prepared me on a mental level, especially for the birth process.

The Whole Pregnancy Handbook: An Obstetrician’s Guide to Integrating Conventional and Alternative Medicine Before, During, and After Pregnancy by Joel M. Evans, M.D. OBGYN

This was one of the two books I read that had more of a conventional medical slant to it.  Like the other (mentioned below), this one contained helpful information about some of the tests and procedures that were available, and how to have the best experience possible in the hospital with a birth plan.  Unlike the other book, it did give some advice about home birth (other than “don’t have one”).  So it is a bit higher on my list in that regard.  There are quotes interspersed throughout the book that provide perspectives from different mothers, which I found helpful.

Body, Soul, and Baby: A Doctor’s Guide to the Complete Pregnancy Experience, From Preconception to Postpartum by Tracy W. Gaudet, M.D.

Written by the Director of the Duke Center for Integrative Medicine, this book espouses a more mainstream view of childbirth than I do – but I found some aspects very useful all the same.  I do not agree with her view that home birth is irresponsible, but I found her ideas for meditation and regular self check ins to be quite helpful.  I think this would be a great book for someone who wants to integrate a more wellness-based approach into the standard OBGYN care.  There is no daddy section of this book, which is probably for the best.

Related articles

• The Importance of Recovery After Pregnancy (choicesinchildbirth.wordpress.com)

Nourishing Biscuits

My memories of making biscuits by my grandmother’s side are purely sensory – the feel (and taste) of the raw dough, the magic of watching them rise in the oven, and the smell of the fresh biscuit as it was heading towards my mouth.  She would patiently coach me on the rolling technique and scold me when I’d eat too much raw biscuit dough (even though she would sneak a little too).

The recipe was recorded in her hands, which knew exactly how much flour to start with, exactly how crumbly the mixture should look when the fat was added, and exactly how much buttermilk was needed to achieve perfectly tender dough that was easy to roll and would rise just right. My many attempts over the years would inevitably meet one mark but fall short on the others.  The dough would feel right but wouldn’t rise.  The smell wafting out of the oven would be just right but the texture would be off.  And sometimes everything was just plain wrong.  So after eschewing grains almost completely, I totally forgot about my seemingly impossible quest…

…until I found myself with too much leftover ham.

You see, the ham biscuit is one of those combinations that far surpasses the sum of its parts – and when your parts are delicious Christmas ham and homemade biscuits, the end result is nothing short of miraculous.  So, armed with renewed determination, I gave the humble yet cosmic biscuit game one last chance.  My nourishing pantry no longer includes ingredients like Crisco and store-bought buttermilk, so I crossed my fingers and substituted coconut oil and kefir.  I cheated on the flour a bit and just used King Arthur’s white whole wheat.

Please note that you will not get amazing biscuits if you use straight whole wheat flour.  But you can inch closer to whole grain perfection by substituting whole wheat pastry flour for half of the more “refined” flour.  Experimenting with spelt/kamut would be interesting too.  I am no gluten free expert, but if you are I encourage you to give these a shot – and share your flour blend secret!

I am working on finding a source/method for sprouted flour, which one day I hope to use in this recipe.  Soaking the flour is possible, although tricky – you would have to add the baking powder the next day, which would involve a bit of heavy handed dough handling to ensure proper incorporation.  My plan is to experiment with this, but until then sprouted flour is your best bet for maximum nutrition.

The trick a tender, flaky end result is that the structure should be as delicate as possible (hence all of this flour talk).  If start out with flour that is too heavy for the baking powder or you overwork the dough, you will end up with some hybrid cookie/hockey puck.  No good.  So lay off the hippie flour in favor of a compromise

Then all you need is good fat.  Crisco was my grandmother’s choice (but she was a victim of the times).  Her mother most certainly used rendered leaf lard for her biscuits, as did her mother’s mother and so on.  I have access to leaf lard at the grocery store, but I am not sure of its origin so I don’t use it often.  Instead, my go to “shortening” is coconut oil.  So far, it has passed every test – and here it exceeded expectations.  If you live in an area where coconut oil is liquid at room temperature, stick it in the fridge to solidify before using here – and send me a plane ticket so I can come visit your tropical paradise.

With all of the nourishing food makeover stuff out of the way, the only secret left to tell you is to handle the dough as little as possible.  You must use your hands to mix in the buttermilk, pulling flour from the sides of the bowl into the well of liquid in the middle like you are just doing it for fun and don’t care if the mixture comes together at all.  Once almost all of the flour is incorporated, I like to add just a bit of extra buttermilk (or water) if necessary to get the last bit of flour incorporated.  Then it’s a matter of massaging it on a floured surface just a few times to create a smooth and easily rollable dough.  Kneading would be too rough and tumble for these refined Southern belles.

Why did I just take seven hundred words to describe what I will now tell you is one of the easiest bread products you can make?  Because any old biscuit will be edible, but a sensationally simple biscuit represents the expert touch of generations of cooks who needed something reliable, cheap, nutritious, and delicious to feed their families.  For those generations of experience, seven hundred words seems short.

Import to Plan to Eat: 

Inspired by a time-tested recipe but restored to its original glory with whole food ingredients. Only something so simple could be so amazing.

Makes 1 dozen (or a baker’s dozen if you’re lucky)

Ingredients

• 3 c flour I used white whole wheat, a mix of that and whole wheat pastry flour could work
• 4 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp salt
• 3/4 cup rendered lard or coconut oil
• 1 cup buttermilk or kefir

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 475 F and lightly grease a cookie sheet with a bit of fat.
2. In a large bowl, mix flour, baking powder, and salt together. Using your fingers, incorporate the lard until the mixture resembles coarse meal. Make a well in the center. Add buttermilk and mix with your hands just until the ingredients are just combined. Add a teeny bit of buttermilk or cold water if you can’t incorporate all of the flour. Then turn out onto a floured surface and knead a few times so the dough is fully incorporated. Do not overwork the dough unless you need a dozen extra hockey pucks!
3. Roll the dough out to about 1/2 inch thick. Using whatever’s handy (glass/mason jar/biscuit cutter/?), cut as many biscuits out as you can and place them on the cookie sheet. If you have leftover dough, re-roll it to make more biscuits. Bake for 8 – 10 minutes until the tops are golden and the biscuits sound hollow when you tap the bottoms. Serve right away for maximum warm delicious flakiness.

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Cloth Diapers – On the Road

I find that cloth diapering is just as easy at the grocery store (or on an airplane, or a trail, or anywhere!) as it is at home.  Since you don’t need a trash can, you can stop just about anywhere and change a diaper, weather permitting.  Our summer baby’s bottom did not come near a public changing table for the first three months of his life – the back of the Subaru was all we needed.

Of course, as with everything else parenting-related, a little forethought goes a long way.  So here’s a tour of our diaper bag:

This is not our diaper bag – but it looks awesome! Photo by shannatheshedevil, used under Creative Commons License

• Flat diapers – the amount we think we will need (which fluctuates depending on little man’s intake) plus at least half that amount more just in case. 
• Snappi(s) – at least one extra.  This is most often the item I forget, but the thought of cleaning a soiled Snappi in a public restroom more than once should be reminder enough.
• Diaper covers – at least two, more if we will be gone all day or overnight
• Extra outfit(s) – Not exclusive to cloth diapering, for sure, but worth mentioning.  We usually have two extra outfits on hand, but usually one is plenty.  Also, having a tiny amount of poo on my son’s onesie is not the end of the world in my eyes – as long as it is not obvious to the general public
• Changing pad – Our diaper bag came with a supercute matching one.  I’m sure you could very easily make a custom one out of some cute DIY oilcloth.  Or just… buy one.
• Wipes – Another oft-forgotten item.  A wet paper towel will do in a pinch, but I am so spoiled by our cloth wipes!
• Wet bag – I have an adorable small wet bag that I take on shorter trips (holds about 12 dirty diapers) and a larger one for longer trips (holds 24 or so).

All of this is contained in a diaper bag (or my relatively large purse).  Most commercially available diaper bags are designed with disposables and bottles in mind, so I really had to weed through the available options to find one that would meet my needs.  In the end, I’m not sure it was even worth it to buy a specific “diaper bag” in favor of another type of durable bag with good interior storage.  I ended up choosing this one because it did not scream “I gave up my eyes and all sense of taste when I had a baby” at me.

The aforementioned matching changing pad is nice and the bag is durable.  The pockets on the inside are useful for wipes, covers, clothing, and such, but storage of the actual diapers is a bit awkward.  In order to fit as many diapers as possible in our bag, we fold as usual, then tuck in the points of the “wings” towards the center so the whole package is a bit more rectangular.  Then it is just a matter of rolling the diaper as tightly as possible to create a small, quite packable cylinder.  We can fit about 16 max with the rest of the accessories packed in as well.  If we will need more than that, a paper garbage bag (or the large wet bag we use at home) contains the rest of the folded stash quite nicely.

Getting everything folded, packed, and out of the house is the hard part.  Once you are out and about, it is just a matter of finding a flat spot with a relatively pleasant ambient temperature.  Other than the back of the Subaru and the usual semi-shady public restrooms, our changing “tables” have included a forest trail, my lap, washing machines, beds, floors, you name it!  So far, we have only had to use one disposable diaper when we completely forgot the diaper bag at home.

I promise, it is possible to cloth diaper without compromise, no matter how long you will be out.  But hey, maybe we just don’t know any better.  How do you handle diapering when you are away from home?

Related articles

• Cloth Diapers – The Diaper Station (sadhanamama.wordpress.com)
• How We Cloth Diaper – The Basics (sadhanamama.wordpress.com)
• Flats vs. Prefolds (franklingoose.typepad.com)

Mama Meltdowns

And now we’ll take a brief break from cloth diapers to bring you the latest edition of… Mama Meltdowns!

photo by Lawrence Rayner, used under Creative Commons License

The month of November has been pretty stressful.  Our beloved kitty has fallen ill with some mysterious ailment that is preventing her from eating and drinking off and on.  Work came to a messy crescendo for both my husband and I.  And my energy level is way down due to the increased frequency of middle-of-the-night requests from the little guy.  Combined with the slight worry of a house purchase looming on the horizon, my sanity is starting to show a bit of fraying at the ends.

In the wee hours of the morning today, the last ball finally dropped.  I am a heavy sleeper, so it is hard to wake me up – and I am generally not in a great mood when I am finally awakened.  In response, Miles has figured out that pinching me is the best way to get what he wants almost immediately.  It can be unbearably painful.  After being woken up for the fourth time in three hours, I lost it.

It was like the Incredible Hulk had been unleashed, only I was awash in overwhelming emotions rather than nuclear waste.  My words and actions were certainly not winning any parenting awards.  Although most of my harshest words were directed at my husband, my feelings were directed at my son.  In the moment, I felt completely separate from – and even resentful of – my child.  I stormed out of the room, flung myself on the couch, and cried.  After letting out three weeks’ worth of raw emotion, I had no more tears to shed, but I didn’t feel better.  I felt empty, guilty and like the worst mom in the world.

Why am I sharing this unflattering moment in a public forum?  Other than a bit of catharsis, there really is a point:

Every strong feeling is a chance to stay present, breathe, and learn something new.  The trick is to catch the moment between emotion (involuntary) and reacting (voluntary).  If you feel angry at your child for waking you up with a painful pinch at 3 am, that is acceptable.  But then there is a choice: react or watch.  Even just a brief pause to ponder this choice can provide a glimpse into what is truly happening.  Did I think it was productive or even logical to get upset with a baby?  Of course not!  But I didn’t give myself a chance to reflect and gracefully handle the situation – I just reacted.

Should I feel horrible?  No.  Three in the morning is not the easiest time to practice perfect mindfulness.  But there are plenty of opportunities during my day where I can sit with frustration, stare it in the face for a moment, and then proceed in a way that reflects a calm and balanced approach.  Just like any skill, practice makes progress (perfection is not necessary).

So last night was really a blessing in disguise.  After some reflection in the light of day, I was able to let go of judgement and find the motivation to practice patience and kindness during the periodic shrieks of delight that emanated over and over from my son today.  Rather than lose it and whimper about my headache, I was (mostly) able to breathe, laugh, and do my best to find a shrieking solution (apparently it’s called bedtime).

I know I will react mindlessly again, but I also know that I can face my emotions head on and maintain control of my reactions.  All it takes is a little pause.

Cloth Diapers – The Diaper Station

In my last post, I detailed the basic system we have for covering baby’s bottom.  However, much to the delight of many retailers, there is a bit more to any kind of diapering than the means you employ for containing the waste.  You need a place to change the baby and a strategy to keep that little butt happy and clean!

We elected to stick to the basics in an effort to keep our budget and the clutter in our small house under control.  Really, it is possible to avoid spending hundreds on diapering accessories.

Here is how we did it:

Our diapering station:

We have one diapering station in our house.  Since we have one floor and only two bedrooms, this makes the most sense for us.  You may want to consider more than one if you have a larger space.  Ours is currently in our bedroom because that is where he sleeps at night.  We will most likely transition this to his room when he starts sleeping there all night, but for now this is perfect.

Changing Pad

The central item of our diapering station is our changing pad.  We have it perched on a shelving unit under a window in our bedroom.  The pad comes with a kit to fasten it to any surface, so voilà – changing table!

Storage

Avoiding the cost and bulk of a traditional changing table does have its drawbacks – mostly storage!  The shelving unit we chose for the changing station does have room for some of his clothes, but the other space is taken up with plenty of other stuff.

photo by AmySelleck, used under Creative Commons license

Unlike disposables, which come in their own box, cloth diapers need their own containment device.  We chose a shallow basket with a handle like this one for our flat diapers.  The handle contains a tall stack really well, although it doesn’t quite hold every single diaper we have.  We also bought a small (about 8 x 4) rectangular basket to store wipes, covers, and snappis.

Speaking of Wipes…

I did not cover wipes in the diapering basics because I don’t think they are a true necessity.  We generally use the dry bits of the diaper to dry him off if his diaper is only wet.  If the situation is more dire, we do use homemade wipes made of terry cloth (read: old towels) and leftover flannel scraps from a quilting project.  Minimal time and sewing skills required.  Tutorial to follow!  The wipes get washed right along with the diapers.

I spent lots of pregnant time searching for the best way to replicate the disposable wipes experience, but in the end I realized that none of that was really necessary.  Instead, we keep a stash of about 24 dry wipes in a basket.  At some point early in the day, one of us will usually wet four wipes under the bathroom faucet for use throughout the day, but Jewish mom spit works in a pinch (I’m sure spit of any ethnic background would be just fine).

If you would rather get a bit fancier, there are are oodles of cloth wipes solution recipes online.  In that case, I would recommend a spray bottle with a good, soaking mist (like a hairdresser would use to spritz your hair).  If that seems too complicated for you, don’t fret: we have gotten by perfectly with the water/spit combination.

Homemade wipes may not be for you.  If that’s the case, I’m sure a good quality paper towel would do the trick – although I think our flannel/terry cloth combination is a bit gentler on baby’s bum.  I highly suggest avoiding the commercially available baby wipes, as the chemicals that go into making them smell nice and stay mold and bacteria free are pretty heavy duty, too much so for baby (or mama) in my opinion.

Keeping Rashes at Bay

Baby butt cream is another heavily represented topic on the internet.  I myself bought some raw shea butter with the intention of creating a fancy concoction, but it is still sitting unopened in our bathroom cabinet.  Why?  Because coconut oil is awesome and we already use it all the time.  The amount needed is very small, so the residue does not get on the diapers and reduce absorbency. We have been vigilant in applying tiny amounts whenever we see a bit of redness crop up, and so far there have been no major rash events at all (five months and counting!)

I took an old screw-top face cream container and spooned some coconut oil in.  Since we live in a northern climate, the oil is hard year round.  A finger at body temperature is warm enough to melt just a little bit on the surface.  If you live in a warmer climate, the coconut oil will be slushy or even liquid for some or all of the year.  In that case, I would suggest a deeper jar and an applicator (like a Q-Tip) to minimize the mess and possible over-application.

Dirty Diapers

Yes, cloth diapering requires that you store dirty diapers for some period of time – but disposables carry the same burden!  Instead of heading to the dump at least twice a week with a pickup full of stinky trash, we are able to wash away the waste in the washing machine and live in a relatively poo free house.

Our “disposal” solution at home is quite simple.  I ordered a cloth pail liner with the intention of using it in a small pedal-operated trash can.  Once we realized how quickly that little thing filled up, the pail liner became its own receptacle on the floor.  The smell is a non-issue – my only concern is keeping the open bag away from curious little hands once mobility and curiosity become more of an issue.  So, for now, we have this bag sitting right on the floor.  When laundry time comes, we simply flip the bag inside out over the washing machine and then throw it in once the diapers have all fallen out.  Easy!

And that’s it.

Really.  Changing pad, diaper storage, wipes, cream, and a pail liner.  This is the basic make up of a cloth diapering station, whether we are at home or out and about.  Next time, I will go over our portable kit.

Our system is super bare bones.  Do you have more creature comforts when it comes to diapering?  What is on your must-have list?

Related articles

• How We Cloth Diaper – The Basics (sadhanamama.wordpress.com)
• Cloth Diapering Made Simple (babybellykelli.com)

How We Cloth Diaper – The Basics

While I was pregnant and furiously researching how to be the best mom ever, the topic that took the most time and caused me the most anxiety was diapering.  Only one thing seemed clear at the beginning: I wanted to use cloth diapers.  Being the naive, previously fairly successful internet researcher that I was, I plugged “cloth diapers” into mothering.com’s search bar to see what I could find.  (Beware: clicking on that link may toss you into a pit of potential diapering decisions from which you may never return).

Photo by simplyla, used under Creative Commons License.

I was hell bent on finding the perfect, one size fits all, cheap, easy, velcro free, durable, leakproof diapering system.  The trouble was, I had never even seen a cloth diaper, let alone changed one.  The internet resources I found were full of useful details, but I had a hard time putting all of the information together into a my perfect system.  To make matters worse, much of the advice for newbies included encouragement to buy different styles of diaper to see which one was right for you.  A cheapskate overplanner like I am just cannot do something so potentially wasteful (and expensive).  After all, avoiding waste and expense is one of the best reasons to choose cloth!

Now that we are heading towards five months of exclusive cloth diapering (not one disposable!), I can’t believe that I once thought all of this would be so complicated.  So I hope the following description of our basic system helps to ease the mind of any Mama (or Papa!) who is considering cloth diapers.  This is one system, though – there are an infinite number of combinations out there to suit your needs.

Basic Supplies:

• The diaper – Clotheez Square Birdseye Flats (48): All cloth diaper systems will include some sort of absorbent material to catch the waste.  Yes, a diaper, plain and simple… or is it?  There are flats, prefolds, fitteds, etc. etc.  We chose flats for two reasons.  One, they are more of a one-size-fits-most option than any other, since you have to buy many sizes of prefolds vs. only two sizes of flats.  Two, they are supposed to be the most durable and easiest to wash.  So far, I agree.  We originally started out with 24, but that was not enough for us since our little guy hates a wet diaper so we doubled our stash.  Still, we have to do laundry about once a day to avoid running out completely.
• The fasteners – Snappies (6): These are necessary for our system, since our diaper covers are merely a waterproof shell.  There are styles of diaper that allow you to skip the pinning process, but given the ease and safety of using the Snappis I chose this route.  I think that the ability to snugly wrap baby’s bottom in the flat diaper with the help of the Snappi has saved us from many blowouts.
• The cover – Thirsties Duo Wrap (Snaps) (8): So you’ve got the absorbency – but there is an upper limit to the amount of liquid any cloth can hold before it seeps to the next layer (ie: the onesie, the mattress, your shirt, etc).  You need some sort of waterproof covering over the diaper to prevent unsavory seepage.  The material for these can range from cheap plastic to expensive chenille wool diaper covers.  Seriously, check out the range of options.  Although I did pause for a minute before doing so to contemplate the effect on my crunchy credentials, I chose a synthetic fabric (PUL) for the covers.  They work wonders!  We marvel at the ability of these covers to keep in even the messiest of messes.  They also fit his skinny newborn butt nicely (and avoided the umbilical cord stump), and still have room to grow five months along.

The diapering process itself is actually quite simple.  After washing and drying (a how to on that to follow), we fold the flat diapers using the origami method so they are ready to go.  When the time comes for a diaper change, we simply fold the diaper around him and fasten it snugly with the Snappi.  Then comes the Thirsties cover, which just snaps on easily.  after a quick yet essential check to make sure that the flat diaper is contained completely within the cover, we are good to go!

That is really all there is to it.  Of course, there is a changing station, laundry, and leaving the house to consider, but those topics are equally easy and stress free once you get the hang of them.  I will describe more in the next post.  Until then, chime in!  If you arte new to the idea of cloth diapers, i would be happy to answer any questions.  If you are a seasoned diaperer, what is your favorite system and why?

Traveling with a Montessori Baby!

Pardon my absence – between fleeing a hurricane, delicately avoiding baby jet lag, and catching up on work, this blog has fallen slightly to the wayside.  In the meantime, a post has been stewing since I returned home from Virginia and mulled the finer points Miles’ first cross country trip.

Photo by Creativity103, used under Creative Commons license.

Traveling with a baby does not need to be a source of massive anxiety.  In fact, it can be downright enjoyable!  Here are some tips that I think are helpful:

• Don’t expect anything.  This goes for traveling by yourself as well as with a baby.  Air travel can be full of unseen variables that cause delays, missed flights, hunger, crankiness, etc. etc.  Babies are also totally unpredictable.  I slept less than I should have before our flight because I was afraid that Miles would scream and cause the whole plane to hate us.  Guess what?  That didn’t happen (the hating us part) even when he did cry a little bit.  So don’t spend time worrying about every little thing before you leave.  Just…
• Be prepared.  Have enough supplies on hand in case you are delayed, especially if you cloth diaper.  I made sure we had extra healthy snacks for me, extra diapers, extra clothes, and Miles’ favorite music at the ready on my smartphone in case of a delay or a meltdown.
• Nurse up, nurse down.  As in, feed the kid during takeoff and landing to prevent the horrible ear popping that comes with childhood flying.  I remember dreading it well.  The advice I got was to let him get hungry before takeoff and landing so I could be sure he would nurse.  Well, my little boy has no qualms with nursing anytime, so that wasn’t necessary – but if you think it will be, make sure your timing is right.
• Speaking of cloth diapers, my mother gently suggested that I try disposables for the plane because they would be “so much easier.”  I stubbornly refused, but in the back of my mind I kept wondering whether she was right or not.  Now I can share with much certainty that using cloth while traveling was fine – and perhaps even more convenient than disposables! Here’s what I did:
  • Since Miles is still pretty small at four months, I could (pretty) easily change him in my lap on the planes with the help of the plastic changing mat that came with my diaper bag.  Since I had the wet bag with us, there was no need to get up and throw the diaper away (can you even do that on a plane?)  This prevented any screaming fits while the fasten seatbelt sign was illuminated.  Little man hates a wet freshie.  (Practice this in the car a few times before you go).
  • Brought extra diapers in my dedicated diaper carry on.  I think I carried twenty overall, and ended up using about half of them.  I also brought twice the wipes, covers, and clothes that I needed.  None of this ended up being necessary, but I was glad it was there.  As always, my carry on was a backpack instead of a shoulder bag.  They stuff under the seat in front of you better and are easier to carry in the airport, IMO.  You can also fit more freshies in a backpack!
  • Headed to a grocery store immediately after landing (and going through a horrible rental car experience, see below) for some baby detergent.  We didn’t bring our own because I was sure we could find something suitable at our destination.  If you are not sure of this, however, I’m sure an old shampoo bottle in a sturdy zip-top bag would do the trick.  In fact, I wish I had thought of that.
  • We were staying at a friend’s house with a washer/dryer.  If you don’t have this luxury, may I suggest a Candlewood Suites or similar establishment with free 24 hour laundry facilities?  Otherwise, seek out the best (?) local laundromat before you go.  Having to do laundry during a vacation was new for me, but the diaper routine is so down pat at this point that it wasn’t really a big issue.  I imagine having to deal with limited laundry facility hours would be a drag, though – but not a deal breaker.

• Get a degree in car seats.  Sorry, I don’t know where you find one of those.  Maybe everyone in the whole world is just better than me at installing car seats and/or keeping their cool after a fifteen hour day of traveling.  Either way, please confirm your car seat arrangements before you get to your destination.  And don’t be surprised when you arrive to a car seat that is not installed.  This is not an error in customer service, it is a liability issue (although don’t be surprised if the customer service is bad on top of that).  In hindsight, I should have gotten better at installing our own wonderful, magnificent, safe, convertible car seat and checked it as luggage instead of trusting that the bottom-of-the-line too-big bucket seat that couldn’t get tightened enough to be safe.  Of course, the airline would probably have destroyed said beautiful car seat in transit.  So really, I don’t know what you should do.  I sat in the backseat with Miles and prayed we did not get into an accident.  Any better ideas for the future would be much appreciated!
• Once you get to your destination, set a schedule.  Kids thrive on routine, even during vacation!  We only had a three hour time difference, so I followed what I have always done while visiting the East Coast as a left coaster – I kept my schedule just where it was.  I would go to bed around 1 am and wake up around 7:30 am (out West, this would be 10 pm bedtime and 4:30 am wake up, of course).  For Miles, bedtime around 10 pm (7 pm PST) suited him just fine.  Of course, this really only works from west to east and not vice versa, so I will echo the advice of a fellow mom I met recently: pay attention to the sequence, not the timing.  We kept our bedtime routine (mostly) intact – freshie, jammies, story, bed – but the location and timing were a little off every night.
• Speaking of sleeping, I was faced with the challenge of cosleeping without my husband.  I didn’t want to put Miles in a crib just because we were traveling!  The sleeping arrangements worked out so I had to get creative with a twin bed.  I pulled that mattress down onto the (carpeted) floor and set up a diaper station right next to it.  Miles never fell off the mattress even though he has just discovered rolling!  It worked perfectly.  I did pack an extra thin but warm blanket (for me) just in case, since I don’t like to use a traditional comforter when he is in bed with me.  Most likely you can find an extra one where you are staying, but better safe than sorry I guess (I have a huge suitcase).
• Stay present.  We did have about a half an hour of off and on fussing on our last plane ride.  I could feel my blood pressure rising, and I started to get that “oh man why the hell did I do this” feeling.  Being the perfect little biofeedback mechanism that he is, Miles started to escalate right along with me.  Thankfully, I caught myself on the way up and started to focus on my breath rather than the rising emotions.  Ahhh.  Both of us calmed just in time to nurse for landing.

Keep calm and make cute faces at Grandma’s camera.

Most importantly, have fun!  I can’t believe how much fun it was traveling with Miles.  The plane ride went by more quickly just because he is so entertaining (and requires lots of freshies!)  I barely had to wake up my Kindle the whole time.  Once we arrived, the family love around us felt amplified with the excitement of showing Miles off for the first time.  Although I got a bit less sleep, visited like crazy, and found myself fleeing from the Frankenstorm, I came home feeling quite nourished.

I know that my one (mostly) idyllic experience could have easily been completely different.  What travel tips and stories do you have to share?

A Day in the Life of a Montessori Baby and his WAHM

I am truly grateful for all of the influences and gifts that have allowed me to parent in a way that truly feels right.  Job opportunities, finances, and education have come together to provide a pretty ideal circumstance to raise a little one.  However, there is one commodity that I could not possibly do without: the internet.

Before Miles was born, I spent hours scouring the blogosphere for ideas.  I bookmarked, I pinned, I sprang, and I generally devoured all I could find on the subject.  My first focus was Montessori for babies (check out my earlier post on Montessori for Infants Resources).  Everything I read resonated with me, a relief since my experience with babies was quite limited before having one of my own.  Part of me (and my wallet) was just plain old relieved that we needn’t be plagued with oodles of plastic toys, a light up musical swing, and a designer crib.

Now that Miles is here, I have found that the Montessori techniques have been a natural fit for all of us.  From the beginning, my husband and I delighted in watching Miles discover his first mobile and make friends with his reflection in the mirror.  I am practicing my skills of observation every day as I try to follow my son’s lead.  Now that we are three months in, I don’t know what parenting would look like without the guidance of the Montessori method.

Although a perfect routine is not at all realistic (or ideal), we do follow a sequence of activities every day.  This will help Miles feel secure because he knows what to expect, with a bonus effect of keeping Mama on the straight and narrow so I can get everything done!

5:30 am – Miles nurses in bed until Mama is ready to get up.  Baby goes to “school” (his tripod equipped with mobile) while Mama and Daddy hang out and eat breakfast.

Starting the day off right

7:00 am – Mama and Miles say goodbye to Daddy, then we get dressed and roll out the yoga mat!  Baby has tummy time while Mama stretches, breathes deeply, and chants.

Baby Yoga

8:00 am – Mama starts work.  Miles alternates between nursing, mobile time, and needing many, many fresh diapers.  Mama hopes that this early dislike of being wet will translate into quick potty training!

10:00 am – Mama (should) take a break from her computer to do some cleaning while singing, talking, and pausing to play with Miles.  Then we go back to our work: I at my computer, he under his mobile.  Sometimes we listen to music (Bill Frisell is his favorite, and mine too).  Sometimes the tv is on for Mama’s benefit.  He can’t see the tv, but he can hear it, so I make sure that I am ok with the content of the program.  (ie: Buffy OK, SVU not so much).  But really, sometimes I need me a little SMG to get through the day.

12:00 pm – Lunch time!  Mama steals away to heat something up while Miles chills out.  Afterwards, Mama and Miles go for a walk for about a half an hour.  Then we come back and – guess what – more work!

3:30 pm – Miles hears Daddy’s truck coming down the driveway and gets all excited.  After lots of hugs and snuggles, Miles has some tummy time while Mama and Daddy connect after a long day.

5:00 pm – Mama or Daddy starts dinner while the other plays with the baby.  Miles starts to get a bit cranky as the day is winding down – notice that he takes no naps!  This is not by design.  He seems to only be interested in sleeping when the sun goes down.  Sometimes Daddy and Miles take a bath to wind down.

7:00 pm – Bedtime for Miles!  Daddy does one last diaper change and gets baby in his pjs, then Mama and Miles snuggle and nurse in Miles’ bed while Daddy reads the bedtime story or poem he has picked out.  Miles is usually asleep by 7:15 pm, although sometimes he is asleep before we put him in bed and sometimes it takes a bit longer.  Mama does some breathing and/or meditation while Miles nurses to sleep.

Miles in his very own bed

7:30 pm – Mama and Daddy finish the dishes, clean up the kitchen, and relax.

10:00 pm – Daddy gently brings Miles to the changing station for one last freshie before bed, then lays him down between us so we can all go to sleep.  Miles usually needs a diaper and a quick nurse in the middle of the night, but otherwise he is a great sleeper.

So that is the simple yet busy life that we lead.  How about you?

Shared with:

The Dancer Mobile – Montessori DIY

Watching the baby delight in a mobile is one of the simple pleasures in my day right now.  Knowing that the Dancer Mobile he is enjoying is supporting his early Montessori education, was easy to DIY, and was cheap to boot is even better!

I have to admit, the dancer mobile did not capture my attention at first.  Its predecessor the Gobbi was so aesthetically pleasing to me with its roundness, its color gradient, and especially its sheep-y fuzziness.  So, although I like my exacto-knife and shiny paper as much as the next gal, it took me awhile to start this project – but now I am so glad that I did.  The tantalizing reflections from the holographic paper combined with the whimsical dancing figures have captured Miles’ attention in a new way.  It is especially exciting to hear him squeal in delight when he succeeds in moving the mobile by brushing against it with his outstretched hand.  Grasping, here we come!

A Man and His Mobile

To make this mobile, I followed this tutorial I found online: The Dancer Mobile – Texas Health Moms.  I am so appreciative for this post, as my alternative was to wing it and inevitably wind up frustrated.  So thanks, Texas Health Moms!

Armed with a tutorial, two pieces of adhesive holographic paper, some fishing line, and aforementioned exacto-knife, I got to work.  I am so happy with how my mobile came out, but I think if I were to do it all over again I would change a few things.  So here is my version of their already-wonderful instructions.

You will need:

• one piece of printer paper (or one or more pieces of drawing paper)
• two pieces of adhesive holographic paper in contrasting colors (I think it would be cool to add two more colors if you can find the variety – Joann didn’t offer that, but I found some cool paper here: dickblick.com)
• an exacto knife (you can use scissors too, but that may get tricky – and sticky – in step 3)
• fishing line (or clear thread if you want to get fancy about it)
• thick safety pin or sturdy needle
• thin wooden dowel

1. Print the template from Texas Health Moms or draw your own!

If you draw your own, you’ll need four heads, four wavy arms, and four crazy legs.  They need to fit on one 8×11 sheet of paper.  I found the template dancers a bit big, so you can easily get away with making the pieces smaller in order to fit everything.

If you are using four colors, you will need to draw two heads, two wavy arms, and two crazy legs on each piece of paper.

Don’t cut the pieces out yet!

2. With one piece of the holographic paper face down on your work surface, carefully peel off the backing to expose the adhesive side.  With the printed/drawn on side facing UP, lay the template sheet on the holographic paper.  Make sure you don’t wrinkle the paper!  Then cut out the shapes with scissors or an exacto knife.

If you are using four colors, repeat this step with another color and the second template sheet.  These two colors will be “side one” of the two pairs of dancers.

3. Peel off the backing from the second piece of paper exactly as you did before.  Now you are going to lay the cut out pieces (shiny side UP) on the holographic sheet – make sure that you leave space for all of the pieces.  You will only be using half of your pieces if you have more than two colors.

When you have all of the pieces arranged on the sheet, carefully trace around the shapes with your exacto knife to cut them out.  Repeat with the fourth color if necessary.

4.  Now you should have a lovely collection of shapes!  Now for the fun part: arrange four heads, four arms, and four legs together to make little dancers.  Note how the colors alternate from head to arms to legs:

Now use the safety pin to poke holes in each shape at the points where you want to attach them.   You will also need a poke a hole at the top of each head.  Using your favorite technique, tie a knot at the end of the fishing line.

Either using a needle or just your steady hand, thread the fishing line through the hole at the top of some legs and then through the hole at the bottom of the arms.  The leg and arm colors that are face up should contrast.  You will want to leave at least 1/4 inch of line between each piece to allow for some nice movement (they are dancers, remember)?  Thread the fishing line through the hole a second time, making a loop to hold the body part in place.  Now make another knot to secure your work and cut the fishing line.  Voila!  Repeat with all of the other pieces.

5.  With the dancers all assembled, the last step is to hang them.  Cut four pieces of fishing line – it is helpful to start with long pieces so you have something to work with.  Thread a piece of fishing line through the hole in the top of the head, then thread it through again to make another loop.  Repeat for the other three figures until you have four figures with fishing line growing out of their heads.

You will want them all hung at varying lengths.  Since my dancers were big and my available hanging space was small, I hung the two figures in the middle lower than the two on the outside.  Working flat on your workspace, stagger the figures any way you want to provide visual interest/make them fit on your dowel.  When you are happy with the look, take one of the outside pieces of line and wind it around the dowel at least five times, leaving enough extra to tie the loose end to the hanging piece of line.  Repeat this process until all of the figures are secured to the dowel.

Now cut a piece of line that is at least twice as long as your dowel.  Wind and knot the line on each end of the dowel.  Hang it where your baby can admire it for many mesmerized hours.   I hope your family enjoys it as much as ours!